Full Length Mirror: Volume 4

A simple, timeless thoughtletter.

Welcome to the fourth issue, with content that is less focused on “the now” and more on timelessness. Very grateful you’re here. This one is pretty substantial, so make some coffee or tea, relax and enjoy, especially for the mothers out there (hoping that your Mother’s Day celebration is a full weekend, rather than just Sunday brunch).

We spent our Spring Break on a road trip through Colorado, New Mexico and Texas. Texas is a land of contrasts - stereotypes confirmed and destroyed, all in the same moment. It’s now been almost seven years since we moved to Colorado, but there’s still a part of me that deeply misses Houston. Texas is the place where I made two of the worst decisions in my life; it’s also the place where two of my most joyous moments occurred.

Our destination was Marfa, a 12-hour drive from Denver. America is such a vast country and Texas is such a massive state. The big, open roads in front of you open your mind up to possibilities and daydreaming. The small towns, filled with all kinds of people, remind you that there truly is a lot we have in common, despite how we feel when we read the latest headlines.

The trend toward isolation–literally and figuratively–has been happening for several years, in many ways exacerbated by the pandemic. Although the recent “opening up” feels like a quasi-return to normalcy, there continues to be a lot of behavioral shifts that keep us apart rather than bring us together. Some of what follows is from a privileged urban point of view, but not all of it.

We hardly go to movies anymore. Grocery shopping takes place via an app, rather than in a store. The mall is less-and-less a gathering place for teens. Vacations to Disney are segmented (VIP access here, others over there). TikTok Duets and FaceTime group chats are playdates. Movie theaters, grocery stores, the shopping mall, theme parks and the local playground used to be places where everyone spent time, regardless of socioeconomic status. Taken individually, none of these behavioral changes are inherently bad. And technology-enabled convenience and fun aren’t entirely evil. But as we become more polarized politically, these behavioral changes certainly don’t encourage dialogue.

Now, bringing it back to Texas. One of the reasons our road trip was so great was that it forced us to meet very different people. When we were patiently waiting to observe the Marfa Lights, our whole family talked to Trucker Dan, who was an independent contractor working for Frito Lay. My girls learned a little more about where their snacks came from, who drives all those trucks and why that’s a really tough job. My wife and I learned more about Dan’s experience in the hospital during the pandemic and why he believes what he believes. I’m not talking about changing minds; I’m simply talking about hearing someone’s POV in a civil discussion, just observing someone or getting to know them as a human first and foremost.

In the spirit of Mother’s Day, I wanted to acknowledge all women, regardless of whether they are mothers, because women tend to be the primary caregivers in most relationships. In the Harvard Business Review article “Stacey Abrams and Lara Hodgson on Entrepreneurship and Self-Doubt”, Abrams says “I do not believe in work-life balance. Work-life balance is a lie from the pits of hell. I believe in work-life Jenga, where you acknowledge that you’re trying to make all of these pieces fit together.” So, thank you to all the women who care for others while balancing their own needs, which usually results in personal and professional sacrifice.

Read

Some of these are Texas-related, some are not. All of them will leave you thinking though.

*Cover design: Carson Dyle. Cover photograph: Bob Anderson/Masterfile*

God Save Texas: A Journey Into the Soul of the Lone Star State by Lawrence Wright. Part memoir, part historical review, all fascinating. This is a wonderful, entertaining read that helps shed light on what Texas is and what it means to the rest of the country. This may be the best $12 you spend all weekend.

I completed a Tough Mudder race in Austin 10 years ago. I remember everything, including the gentle electrocution at the end of the race. That adventure race seemed tough, but the Texas Water Safari (billed as “The World’s Toughest Boat Race”) seems absolutely crazy - here’s Yeti’s short video and write-up that describes how challenging it is.

As I said, Texas is a land of contrasts. And speaking of contrasts, contrasting things often co-exist and attain success. For those of you with young-ish daughters, there’s a good chance they’ve shopped at both Shein and Reformation. While the former is fast fashion on HGH, the latter is very much focused on sustainability. They operate on different scales, but each is culturally relevant. We hear so much about ESG, especially from Generation Z, but, as the article states, “The meteoric rise of Shein uncovers an uncomfortable truth: the very generation that says they care about sustainability are also the ones powering Shein’s sales.”

If only this could be taught to each of us, every day, wow, we’d be a better world. Frank Bruni’s heartfelt, empathetic writing in “One Day, I Couldn’t See Right. My Life Hasn’t Been the Same Since” is so poignant. If there’s one thing you read out of this month’s issue, make this it. “The paradox of my own situation — I was outwardly unchanged but roiling inside — made me newly alert to a fundamental truth: There’s almost always a discrepancy between how people appear to us and what they’re actually experiencing; between their public gloss and private mess; between their tally of accomplishments — measured in money, rankings, ratings and awards — and a hidden, more consequential accounting.”

“The Everyday Patriotism of Diverse Democracies” from The Wall Street Journal covers so much about patriotism, immigration and democracy. This quote from the article really resonated: “Forever hailing the achievements of one part of the population, ethnic nationalism doesn’t acknowledge the extent to which immigrants and their descendants shape most countries.” But what I love even more is the picture below. I don’t see assimilation; I see mutual respect and civility. I see Sikhs feeling safe, comfortable and proud to observe and celebrate the important religious holiday Vaisakhi, while also incorporating musical instruments central to the culture of their adopted homeland, Scotland.

Go

Use

(in this case, a Blinding Glimpse of the Obvious)

Achieving simplicity can be difficult. I try to be good with leveraging technology to keep track of my life - notes, schedules, calendars, to do lists, inspiration, etc. I’ve experimented with Evernote, Coda, Google Docs, Google Sheets. But for the daily needs of keeping track of things, especially when I need to share with others, I’ve overlooked the simplest solution, which is the native Notes app (iOS only).

Listen

This is an updated country-themed playlist, originally made while we lived in Houston - even if you’re not a country fan, give it a shot, play it on random and skip the ones you don’t like. One of the new additions is “Southside of Heaven” by Ryan Bingham (not a new song though; his story is fascinating; I may be one of the few people that hasn’t watched “Yellowstone” or that didn’t know he was on the show). There’s also a beautiful, soulful cover of Sade’s “By Your Side” by Allison Russell. I’ve included some artists discovered from this article, which highlights some up-and-coming young Black women in this musical genre. This playlist takes me back to Texas and is a nice break from what I regularly listen to.

Increase Your Thoughtfulness Quotient

When Reena and I left Vancouver in 2011, we hired a photographer to take some pictures around Vancouver to help us remember our first home together. It has now become a bit of a tradition when on family vacations to seek out a pro to help us capture memories. Pictures from our travels are reminders of how blessed we are and how quickly time flies. Framed prints also make great gifts for each other, as well as for grandparents. We were lucky to work with Jessica Lutz in Marfa, who was more than outstanding. The picture below is a stunning image she captured of Nilaya - it’s already a family treasure.

Make, Share and Eat

We discovered a spot a few years ago called Paper Dosa in Santa Fe. We were hungry for an inventive take on South Indian cuisine (I mean, who isn’t?), so we treated ourselves to a wonderful dinner there during Spring Break. Owned by chef Paulraj Karuppasamy and his wife and business partner, Nellie Tischler, they add creativity to traditional dishes like uttapams and dosas. They have a very unique green chutney with basil as a star ingredient–I was inspired to recreate it at home.

Basil-Cilantro Green Chutney

Use this spread on sandwiches, eggs, with fresh vegetables as an alternative (or in addition) to hummus…the possibilities are endless. Makes about 12 ounces. Keep in a tightly-sealed container in the fridge. Lasts between 10-14 days, although the fresh, vibrant green color will begin to fade after the first week. As is the case with all Full Length Mirror recipes, the guidelines below are directional, not absolute. This recipe in particular is especially forgiving and encourages experimentation.

Approximate Ingredients

Eight ounces basil (two large clamshells). Wash and dry. Remove long stems
Six ounces cilantro (about three medium-sized bunches). Wash, dry and pick through for darkened leaves
Approximately two TBSP Maldon Sea Salt (can use more to taste)
Approximately one large serrano pepper (can adjust based on desired level of heat)
Approximately one large jalapeno pepper (can adjust based on desired level of heat)
Approximately one cup raw, unsalted cashews
One medium garlic clove (optional)
Approximately two TBSP neutral oil (I used a light EVOO)

Approximate Steps

Combine ingredients in food processor
Chop/blend/process until hummus-like consistency is reached

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